


Lyrium, Shields, and Bow-strings

by Dragons_Are_A_Girls_Bestfriend



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Polyamory, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9422840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragons_Are_A_Girls_Bestfriend/pseuds/Dragons_Are_A_Girls_Bestfriend
Summary: Inquisitor Freyga Lavellan is nearly the spitting image of the Hero of Ferelden Adathra Mahariel who gave her life 10 years ago to end the blight. When the Grey Warden Alistair comes to Skyhold to assist the Inquisitor find the missing Wardens he is completely taken aback by the echo of his lost love. The budding relationship between the Inquisitor and Commander Cullen is strained when sparks begin to fly between the Inquisitor and the Warden; can the three of them find a way to work things out or are they fated for heartbreak?





	1. Sparring in the Sun

**Chapter 1: Sparring in the Sun**

There was something in the way he looked at her, Alistair thought to himself as he watched Commander Cullen’s gaze follow the Inquisitor as she walked among her forces on the practice field. It reminded him so much of himself when he had felt the first stirrings of emotion for Adathra, long before she became the Hero of Ferelden. He had to admit to himself that Inquisitor Lavellan resembled his lost love. When he had first laid eyes upon her in the cave north of Crestwood the shock stole his breath from his chest. He knew of course that it could not be Her, for she had died with the Archdemon. Alistair closed his eyes and breathed slowly through his nose. Even after all this time, he felt her loss like a dagger in his chest. So lost in his own thoughts, he did not notice the Inquisitor’s approach. 

“Warden Alistair.” Her voice called softly behind his right shoulder making him jump the smallest bit.   
  
“Please, just Alistair will do. I was never much for stuffy titles.” He smiled as he turned toward her, guarding himself against the echo of Adathra’s face in her’s. 

“Alistair then.” She chuckled leaning back against the wooden fence as she gazed up at him. “I wanted to ask you a few questions, if you didn’t mind. About the calling that you spoke of. We’ll be leaving for Adamant Fortress soon and I wanted to pick your brain.” Freyga explained. 

“Of course. What would you like to know?” Even as he spoke the words he was struck by a strong sense of deja vu, he and Adathra had had long conversations that began in much the same way. 

Freyga raised her eyebrow as she watched the warden’s expression change and wondered what troubled him. All thoughts of the calling were forgotten as she gently laid her hand upon his arm. “Are you alright?” She asked, sympathy softening her face. “You seemed far away just now.”   
  
He could not reign in the self-depreciating chuckle that escaped his lips. “I was.” Alistair answered simply before running his hand through his hair and lowering himself to the ground with a small huff. “It’s nothing really. Are you sure you want to hear about it? I imagine there are much more interesting things to take up the Inquisitor’s time than me.” When she raised her brow with the outer edge rising sharply in much the same way that Adathra had, his defenses simply dissolved and there was no refusing her. “I was thinking of Adathra.” He explained with a small smile. “The Hero of Ferelden.” He chuckled. “Maker, she would have hated being called that. She wasn’t much for titles either, always said that titles were the shem way of making yourself sound more important than you really are.” 

Freyga grinned and lowered herself onto the ground beside him. Of course, she knew of the Dalish Hunter turned Grey Warden who laid down her own life to save others. It was one of the more popular stories told around the fires in her clan. Though until this moment, she had not truly given thought to what that the Hero had been like in a personal sense. Ten years after the fact she was spoken of as more of a model to live one’s life by all duty, sacrifice, and selflessness.

“I was just thinking that we used to have long talks that always seemed to start out like that. You remind me of her.” Alistair confided as he leaned himself back, holding his weight on the palms of his hands. 

Freyga smiled and felt the praise warm her cheeks. “Not only because I’m Dalish, I hope.” She joked with a soft laugh.

“Oh no, well it does have something to do with it, though it’s more than that.” He shook his head at his own stumbling and swiped a hand through his hair idly. “She had a way of carrying herself that set her apart from everyone else. Your eyes would be instantly drawn to her when she entered a room, and not only because she was beautiful.” He tried to explain. “You have that as well, among other things.” The last was muttered below his breath. He had been unable to keep them to himself for she was indeed exceedingly beautiful.

The dalish woman’s smile widened slightly and she dropped her head to hide a blush at Alistair’s words. She was only just getting used to hearing Cullen tell her that she was beautiful, and to hear it from another even in a roundabout way was enough to embarrass her. It wasn’t that she didn’t know she could be appealing to the eye, but more that she never saw herself as beautiful. She was always too pale, too broad of shoulder… it had been never ending as she grew up and those feelings of not being as everyone else, stuck with her.

Across the yard, Cullen was keenly aware of just how long the Inquisitor and Warden Alistair had been talking and despite his efforts, jealously churned hot in his gut. More and more his eyes would drift to where they sat, laughing in the sun. Did she smile that brightly for him? Did he make her laugh that loudly? Their relationship was still somewhat new and he was wary of any and all obstacles they might face, even those of his own making.

He remembered Alistair from templar training, even though the man hadn’t taken his vows in the end. At the time, he thought that the Warden Commander Duncan had made much undo fuss, considering Alistair’s perchance not to take things seriously.

Cullen turned his focus to Blackwall whom he was sparring and grinned beneath his lion’s head helmet. Another Grey Warden, he thought to himself wirily. He motioned with his shield that he was ready before raising his sword arm. In his mind’s eye he pictured Alistair’s smiling face in place of the scruff companion before him and attacked with zeal. The clang of metal on metal seemed to echo through the practice yard as they met for the first blow. Cullen felt Blackwall’s weight shift to his back leg with the force before it was bolstered. He must have realized that the Commander was in no mood to spar in half measures.

The match soon drew the eyes of the crowd and that of the pair sitting upon the ground. Their conversation forgotten as they watched. “Your Commander Cullen is quite the formidable foe.” Alistair commented idly, he vaguely remembered the man when Adathra and their companions climbed the Circle of Magi in Kinloch Hold so long ago but little else of the man.

Freyga’s first instinct was to deny that the Commander was hers and only just managed to curb her tongue. Protesting the fact would only call more attention to their relationship so she let the comment pass. “He is indeed. Blackwall is as well, they are pretty evenly matched.” The warden often accompanied her on missions when she left Skyhold since she found his humor and presence a pleasant reprieve from the gloom and doom of the Breach in the sky.

Alistair simply nodded in agreement as the fighting intensified. Soon the entire field had ceased their own training to look towards the Commander. More than one group of men wagered one way or the other. In the end, Blackwall swung his sword in a downward motion, giving Cullen a brief opening in which he seized, charging forward, his head tucked behind his shield as he rammed the other man beneath the arm in the ribs, knocking him to the ground.

Applause sounded after as Cullen offered his hand to the Warden. “Well, fought Blackwall.” He grunted. The black haired man grinned as he took he hand offered and rose, clapping Cullen on the shoulder with his hand. “Very well fought indeed Commander, I need a good thrashing from time to time to shake the cobwebs off me.”

With that, the lunch bell tolled from the tower and people began to mill towards the Great Hall. The Inquisitor made no move to rise just yet, as she wanted to know more about the Hero of Ferelden. “Alistair, would you like to join the Commander and me for lunch? I imagine the seating in the Great Hall will be rather limited and there is always room at my table.” She offered as Cullen approached, not noticing the way his shoulders tensed at her overheard question.

“Only if your table has cheese, I have a weakness for the stuff.” The Grey Warden confided with a chuckle as he pulled himself to his feet and offered his hand to the woman. He hadn’t meant to cut the Commander’s own offer of assistance off, but he did all the same.

Behind him, Cullen’s outstretched hand tightened into a fist briefly before he raised it to remove his helmet. His sweat soaked hair clung to his forehead as he tucked his helmet beneath his arm. When Freyga swung into view he forced himself to smile.

“You don’t mind, do you Cullen?” She asked as she went to his side. “I know we had planned on discussing the approach to Adamant, but I’d rather have a more pleasant conversation to eat by.”

Of course, she hadn’t meant it as a dig, and Cullen knew that deep down but he felt her words like a stone in his gut. Talking to Alistair was more pleasant than listening him drone on about battle plans. “Agreed,” he said in spite of himself, “that talk is better suited to the War Room.”

“Wonderful.” The Inquisitor smiled before glancing to each man in turn before leading the way to the keep. “Cullen if you’d lead the way to my chambers, I’ll speak to the kitchens about setting another place.”

Watching the crimson haired beauty walk away, the two men glanced at one another briefly before Alistair cracked a crooked smile. “Hope I’m not spoiling your dinner plans.” He joked, earning himself a grunt of annoyance from the Commander.

“Of course not.” Cullen answered simply before striding across the now full Great Hall, leaving Alistair to follow in his wake.

“Maker, what have I stepped in now.” The Grey Warden grumbled to himself as he followed the Commander a few paces back.

One thought was shared between the two men, _I hope the Inquisitor does not take very long._


	2. "Shite"

 

Alistair might not be the best at picking up on subtly but even he could feel the awkward tension in the air as he sat across from the commander in the Inquisitor’s chambers. He must have done something to bring on the other man’s anger, though he could not think of what it was. “So, Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, that’s pretty impressive.” He commented idly, trying to create a conversation to help pass the time.

“Yes, well it’s not as impressive as the Grey Warden that helped the Hero of Ferelden end the Blight.” Cullen replied dryly, so caught up in his own annoyance with the man, he did not catch the momentary flash of pain in the grey warden’s eyes at the mention of the Hero.

“Right. Though it was more her doing than mine. I was just there a long for the ride, as it were.” Alistair gave a self-deprecating laugh. “She was an undeniable force and went where she pleased and did as she saw fit.” He admitted with a wiry smile.

“Maker that sounds like Freyga, if I could only get through that oftentimes thick skull of hers…” Cullen sighed with a grin, forgetting what he was supposed to be angry about. “The other day she led her party against a High Dragon! As if her duties weren’t dangerous enough.” Cullen told the other man with a roll of his eyes. “She hardly listens to anyone.”

The Commander’s description threw Alistair’s head back with laughter. “They would make quite the pair I’d wager.” He grew quiet as he tried to picture his lover’s reaction to the Inquisitor. An image of them facing one another with bows drawn, sporting angry expressions, and insisting that they knew what needed to be done next and the other was clearly wrong. The vision made him shake his head with a laugh.

Cullen was puzzled by the Warden before him. From one moment to the next his mood which from joyful to almost sad with little indication as to what caused the change. “I admit I don’t know much about the Hero, honestly. I remember little from the fall of the Ferelden tower, though I do know that it was Adathra and her companions that saved us then.”

“Ah yes, the Circle… stuff of nightmares that. Abominations wondering about ready to swoop down at every turn.” Alistair shuddered slightly, those images had stuck with him, coming up every now and then to jerk him awake at night. “Not my fondest memory from that time.” He tried to be light hearted about what he had witnessed, knowing that Cullen had been tortured by the blood mages. “But Adathra was determined to save everyone she could, wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.”

“Now that sounds like someone I know.” A feminine voice cut the air, sending both men’s heads turning towards the door. The inquisitor had a crooked, but happy smile on her face as she balanced three plates full of food on a large platter. “Sorry that took so long, the kitchens had the cheese hidden in the back of the larder.” She chuckled as she set down the platter and gestured for the servants waiting on the stairs to bring the rest over.

Eyeing the plates of cheese, roasted meat, and a pitcher of dark ale Alistair’s stomach gave a hearty growl, bringing a rouge to his cheeks. “Pardon my gullet, it seems to lack manners.” He joked, earning a laugh from the elven woman.

“Nothing to pardon at all, though I’d love it if you’d continue with what you were saying. I am anxious to hear any new stories about Adathra Mahariel.” Freyga grinned as she settled into her seat beside Cullen, leaning her shoulder against his briefly before leaning forward to spear a cut of meat with her dirk. “So do go on.”

Though she was sitting beside the Commander he felt very much alone in the room or worse yet that he was intruding and unwanted. The annoyance that had slowly evaporated before came rushing back and Cullen was no longer certain that he was even remotely hungry. His brow wrinkled in frustration as he quickly said a blessing over his food in thanks to the maker before pouring himself a full glass of ale. If Freyga noticed his sour mood, she made no indication to Cullen as she joked, questioned, and conversed with Alistair throughout their meal. He found himself growing more and more angry with it all before finally he pushed roughly back from the table, causing his chair to whine loudly as it scraped across the chamber floor. “I’ve much to do.” He explained to their puzzled faces before nodding to each in turn, “Inquisitor, Warden,” though the last was choked out through gritted teeth before he excused himself from the chamber.

There was a buzzing in his ears that he could not quite place that only seemed to make him madder. His boots thumped loudly as he all but marched through the great hall towards his tower. He paused only long enough to bark at a passing scout to bring him the reports from the Western Approach and the Adamant Fortress. As he slammed the door to his office shut, images of their smiling faces danced before his eyes. Nothing seemed to make the images that were tormenting him vanish and he found himself staring longingly towards THAT draw in his desk. Lyrium would ease the buzz in his ears and help him focus. Maybe he should just…

*

Throughout their meal, Freyga would often glance of at Cullen. She had noticed that he had not spoken since she had entered the room and consumed only mug after mug of ale. Each time she attempted to include him in the conversation he would simply grunt and take another draught of his drink. She made a mental note to ask him about it later, she was sure there would be a fight and she really did not want to have their first disagreement in front of Alistair. When the Commander made his hasty and angry departure she was stunned. She stared open mouthed at his retreating back before his blonde curls disappeared from view. The slam of her chamber door made her just ever slightly and she blushed hotly with shame. “I am so sorry, Alistair. I’m not entirely sure what has gotten into him.”

For Alistair, the Commander’s chagrin had finally dawned on him when the man all but bared his teeth at him like an animal; he was jealous. He might have laughed if not for the unhidden malice that had flashed in the other man’s eyes before he left. _Jealous of me?_ He thought with an internal shake of his head. Hearing the Inquisitor’s words he waved her off. “No harm done, he’s probably just swamped with work.”

Freyga moved to stand. “I should probably go after him.” She hadn’t really meant it as a question but the words sounded that way all the same. She wasn’t sure if she should, he clearly wanted to be away from her, given his attitude.

Alistair shook his head. “I would give him a little time to cool off by himself. I know when I get in a mood being questioned about it doesn’t help all that much.”

She saw wisdom in his words and nodded in agreement. Their conversation all but forgotten, as well as the meal, Freyga smiled and moved to stand. “It was very nice to have you to tell me stories of the Hero, Alistair. Thank you for joining me.” She told him in honesty, he had an air about him that made him easy to talk and listen to. Cullen usually had the same air, but something was amiss with him.

“It was my pleasure, Inquisitor.” Alistair insisted as he too rose from the table. And it was a pleasure, just as he said. He found himself not wanting to leave the woman’s presence but he could think of no other reason to remain. “I’ll leave you to your duties, if you have need of me I’ll be in the gardens.” He gave a slight bow, bending at the waist with his eyes locked on hers before making his exit. One thing was sure, he wanted to dine with her again.

When she was alone, Freyga sighed heavily and threw herself onto the ridiculously large bed in her chambers. “Gods what am I to do with that man?” Even as she asked herself that question both faces came to mind, making her cover her face with a plush pillow. “Shite.”  

 

 


	3. Sleepless in Skyhold

Chapter 3: Sleepless in Skyhold

 

He didn’t come to bed that night. After what had happened at their midday meal, Freyga tried her best to not worry too much and just let him cool off. But as the sun slipped behind the mountain and the sky grew inky she wondered if she had done the right thing by not chasing after him. _Maybe I should go see him._ She pondered as she paced the stone floors of her chamber before she shook her head. _If he wanted to talk he would have come and found me sometime today. He probably needs more time._ With that thought in mind, Freyga moved to her bed and sat on the edge. She wanted to sleep, needed sleep, but she knew she would find little rest.

Making a noise in her through the elven woman cast herself off her bed and strode towards the doors leading to her balcony. It was cold without the stone to break the wind that whipped about the tower but she didn’t mind so much. Confusion and uncertainty swirled in her mind as she leaned a hip against the railing and studied the grey outline of the mountain before her. She hadn’t imagined that Cullen would be the jealous type, especially given that she hadn’t done anything. Though if she were honest she wasn’t wholly innocent. It was difficult not to notice that Alistair was attractive and she probably was not the best at hiding such thoughts. Intrigue and subtly had never been her strongest skills, which was why she left all of that to Leliana and Josie.

“Creators, I should go apologize.” She spoke once the realization that Cullen’s reaction was not entirely out of nowhere. The Inquisitor turned on her heel and made her way out of her chambers and was across the great hall before she noticed she was in nothing but her nightclothes. Too determined with her mission, she simply sighed and kept walking. The wind once more blasted her as she made her way across the walkway overlooking the castle bailey making her wish she hadn’t been quite so impulsive. “Too late now, dalen.” She muttered under her breath as she crossed her arms beneath her breasts and pushed on a quicker pace. When she reached the door she paused, her hand suspended in the air ready to rap upon the wood, _it’s the middle of the bloody night,_ she thought, _he could be sleeping._

Just as she had decided to leave him to his rest and speak with him in the morning she heard a loud clang and a muffled curse from inside the room. She couldn’t hear the words he spoke, but they were slurred and not at all what he normally sounded like. Afraid he might be hurt or drugged Freyga pushed her way into the chamber. “Cullen?” She asked tentatively, unsure what to expect.

Cullen was crumpled in the chair at his desk, his hands on either side of his head as if he were in pain. The clang she had heard had been his shield falling from the hook upon the wall where it normally hung when not being used. He didn’t appear that he had heard her as he didn’t move at all, just continued to hold his head in his hands with his eyes pinched tightly shut.

“Cullen, are you alright?” She inquired, a little louder than she had spoken before. The red headed woman moved towards him slowly, thinking something was definitely off.

His shoulders tensed at her words and he pushed himself roughly back from her approach. “What do you want?” He all but growled out the words. His anger took her aback and she stood there rooted to the spot. “Come to torment me some more, eh? Tell me that you prefer Alistair?” Cullen all but spat the name at her like a curse.

“What are you talking about?” She questioned incredulously. “Are you drunk?” Freyga could only guess at the seat of his ridiculousness.

Cullen laughed cruelly and shook his head. “What am I talking about?” He muttered audibly before striding towards her, his hands shaking at his sides. “You’ve done little more since the Warden got here than make eyes at him every time you see him. Every time I go looking for you I find the two of you together, whispering to one another about how best to get rid of me. It makes me sick!” He stopped in front of her, his chest mere inches from her face.

The intensity in his gaze sent ice through her veins and for the first time she felt fear as she looked up at her Lion. Unconsciously she backed away from the anger so obvious in his expression. If he was deterred by scaring her, he didn’t show any sign as he simply pursued her retreat. Her back collided roughly with the stone wall and he was suddenly there, one handed flattened to the wall on either side of her head trapping her in the square of his arms.

Freyga swallowed the lump growing in her throat. “Cullen, please calm down, you’re not making any sense. I haven’t betrayed you.” Her racing thoughts stuttered her words and her eyes darted around the room, looking for any possible exit.

“Liar!” He yelled into her face, spittle flying from between his lips. His eyes glistened with unshed tears and were rimmed in red.

“Cullen, I love you. You’re not yourself.” She spoke softly hoping that her words would reach him. “Please tell me what’s wrong so that I can help you.”

“I’m fine! I’m seeing more clearly than I have in weeks. Since he arrived you’ve been different and more interested in him. Was I just some conquest? Worm your way into my bed and then move on to the next man?” His accusations were unfounded by it didn’t stop the pain in her chest. Tears sprung to her eyes and her shoulders fell in defeat.

“I can’t believe you think so little of me.” She whispered before straightening to her full height. “If you have nothing else, Commander. I’ll take my leave.” Her voice was firm and held no trance of the heartbreak she was feeling.

“You’ll leave when **I** say you can leave!” He insisted, pressing his chest against hers to pin her to the wall.

“I’ll leave now, and you’ll let me or I’ll have to hurt you.” Freyga countered. “Back. Off.” She bit the words out slowly preparing herself for the strike that she would surely have to make if he did not move.

“I said you’ll…” He began once more to which Freyga answered with a swift upwards knee to his groin, knocking the wind out of him and sending him to his knees.

She moved quickly towards the door, jerking it open before turning back to look at him crumbled on the floor. “Until you regain your senses the Inquisitions forces will be commanded by Seeker Pentaghast. I suggest you get yourself together before I return.” With those final words she strode from the doorway without a backward glance. That very night she gathered her companions and rode to the Oasis, hoping to get as far from the Commander as possible.


End file.
